Wrote the below in 2007. 2020 notes to follow.
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"My Gift" was the working title of the book Mom was writing, yet unable to finish. It spoke of a world without limits, a consciousness where doubt, fear, and sorrow cease to exist, a reality of infinite possibilities, all of which is accessible and attainable through unconditional love.
Her gift was the ability to express, through word and action, that unconditional love is the most significant power known to mankind. If unconditional love was accepted and given freely by all, the world would again live together in peace.
As an adolescent and teenager under her wing, I was a curious student. I marveled over her particular knowledge and awareness. I once asked her why there were so many religions when God says we all came from the same place. She didn't have an answer but told me it was a good question and never made me go to Sunday school or church again.
I was, of course, too young and immature in my thinking to fully comprehend the depths of her direction. All I felt was an abundance of freedom. She consistently reassured me I could do or become anything my heart desired. All I had to do was imagine the possibilities.
It is only now, and coincidentally right around the 13th anniversary of her death, that I'm beginning to realize the depth of her teaching is actually quite simple.
This clarity came to light while imagining a black and white picture of two main roads in which to travel through this lifetime. The first road is one-way, straightforward. There will be hills and mountains to climb and colorful, exciting, and inspiring places to rest and re-energize along the way. To where it eventually leads, only the imagination can visualize.
The second road follows a maze-like pattern. It's full of twisting and turning alleys that may lead to dead-ends. This route is less scenic. There's often inclement weather along the way, especially down those dark and narrow closed-in alleys to where it eventually leads, only the imagination worries about.
Thinking about these two roads, I see that Mom initially led me towards the first, One-Way-Road. However, I somehow slipped off this road when she was taken away from me and this world too soon.
Occasionally, memories of the first road would come flooding back to me. I'd once again be filled with inspiration and hope for the future. But much to my disappointment, these visions tended to fade as haphazardly as they appeared.
However, as I travel freely through foreign lands, thousands of miles away from home, I can see quite clearly what's kept me wandering about the second, twisting, and turning road.
It's been the focus of my attention on the isolation I felt living in a materialistic world. A world too impressed by the show of things. Plus, the flat-out backward nature of hierarchy when in truth, we are all of the same cloth. And equally deserving of every natural beauty, educational and economic opportunity this world has to offer.
And even furthermore, my incessant worry over the frightening state of our union, and the sickening fact that war is only a conditioned response to grotesque greed, false power, and a severely paralyzing fear of the unknown.
Lastly, here, yet the most detrimental to myself, and thus, the whole. My stubborn inability to let go of past failures, disappointments, plus the fear of criticism and judgment from others.
But I really must stop now, let it go, and turn around for good. Mom warned me of the consequences of such bad thinking habits. So now, I apologize to you (and myself) for writing about (and giving too much attention to) the negative aspects and unfortunate tragedies of our time.
Instead, I should express the possibility that all pain, suffering, misfortune, and tragedy exist solely to motivate and inspire the collective consciousness to come up with a solution to the crisis of separation.
Now that I feel myself securely back on the One-Way Road, I will forever make it the utmost priority in my Life to keep my feet firmly planted there. At the same time, I will not be too naïve and idealistic to believe this one-way road will be smooth-sailing.
However, I believe this One-Way-Road will eventually lead me to the energized and eternal realm of unconditional love in this world and beyond…
I could, of course, be wrong, dead wrong, that is. If that's the case, I'd never know about it anyway. So while I'm alive and aware of the possibility of limitless, eternal reality, why would I ever choose to wander about the second road again?
Until we meet again, Mom, thank you for being the most remarkable teacher of my Life. And oh, the next time you see Grandma Lou, will you please ask her to not smack my knuckles with a ruler the next time she sees me? Let her know it's acceptable to start sentences and paragraphs with 'and' or 'but' these days. Plus, the grammar tools in the Spanish version of Microsoft word are tough to read, thus utilize. Thanks again for everything, Mom. I love you.
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2020 notes: For 26 years, I thought Mom was telling me to finish the book she was writing. While creating YERWAY DESIGN, I realized that's not what she meant. I now understand Mom's choice of just one word, "FINISH" was purposeful.
If Mom made it abundantly clear in her instruction, "FINISH YOUR WAY," I may not have ventured off to figure it out.
"FINISH" carrying out the messages in her book, but in "Your-(my)-Way', is what Mom meant. Hence, the name YERWAY DESIGN.
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Lastly, I'd like to admit I most definitely fell off the road many times from 2007 until now. And there is a ton more to Mom's Life's work. The 'One-Way-Road' was my understanding in 2007. I will be adding more about Mom's work to this blog as time allows.